MIXTAPE Volume #2: THE MINORS (Part One)

Ladies and gents, welcome back for volume two of i.W.e. MIXTAPE! Tonight, we take a look at some of the smaller promotions under the Independent Wrestling Empire umbrella. Since the i.W.e. is such an expansive organization we'll give half of its feeder feds a gander today, and look into the rest of them on the next episode.

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The mission of Old Fashioned Wrasslin’ is simple and straightforward: to preserve the great American time-honored tradition of good old-fashioned grappling action! Big, basic moves and hokey hamfisted gimmicks is what the OFW is all about, and in tonight’s featured match for the promotion’s top title - the Transnational Championship - we will be seeing all that in spades. Barry Mitchell, the burly and bizarre Brit also known as “The Butcher’s Dog”, takes on the reigning champion Cro-Mag, a caveman who according to kayfabe was discovered frozen in a giant block of glacial ice in Alaska. Will the rough-and-tumble brawler from London’s East End be able to take down the prehistoric terror and end his seven-month reign as Transnational champ, or will Cro-Mag’s animalistic brute strength be enough to overcome big Barry?

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With some financial assistance from i.W.e. owner David Harley, lucha legends Resplendent Quetzal and U.S. Kestrel - together known as Birdemic! - have struck out on their own to form a new promotion where high-flying anthropomorphic pro-wrestlers can feel right at home. Double Bird Wrestling’s two founders also happen to be the reigning i.W.e. Tag Team champions, and have held the titles for a record 354 consecutive days. Tonight, they take on a team known as the JAPANIMALS, consisting of junior legend Ocelot and his prized protege Junichiro Tanuki, better known as Raccoon Dog. Will the bird boys be able to retain their titles and extend their amazing reign, or will the JAPANIMALS snap their streak right before it reaches the one-year mark?

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Yes, you read that right. The members of i.W.e.’s primary developmental territory - Oakland-based Bay Area Sports Entertainment - compete for a title known as The Ace of B.A.S.E., currently held by arrogant pretty-boy Sterling Vaughn of the not-so-illustrious Vaughn Brothers. While he is undoubtedly the most talented wrestler in his family, most people suspect that Sterling’s title reign has a lot more to do with the fact that his father Percival Vaughn III happens to be B.A.S.E.’s commissioner than anything else. Having held the title for eight straight months, Sterling now faces his toughest competition to date in the form of The Stingray From Spain, Danny Santander! Will Sterling be able to resist the onslaught of flying knees that almost certainly lies in store for him, or will Danny get driven directly through the mat by the master of the uranage, just like everyone else who’s come calling for the title this year?

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The i.W.e.’s most prominent and pious in-ring evangelist J.C. Lamb has started a small-time, bible-based wrestling promotion called Calvary Christian Wrestling, touring the nation’s many megachurches and spreading the good word of Jesus. The problem is that so far everyone he’s hired to play the role of ungodly heels has stubbornly refused to put his holy men over! Tonight, we witness the ultimate battle between good and evil when the CCW’s top star The Man Himself takes on that dastardly, devilish deceiver known as Really Deville. Will the man who may or may not be Jesus Christ in the flesh be able to cast this sinister satanist back into the lake of fire from whence he came, or will the Luciferian lad get one over on the Lord?