Post by LankyLefty17 on Sept 17, 2019 19:31:23 GMT
Week 3 Block B RESULTS
The show opens with highlights from last night’s A block action…
Yoshi Tayaki vs Johnny Throwback
Recap:
Brutal carnage, both men were bloodied- Yoshi seemed more interested in hurting Throwback than actually wrestling. That eventually became his undoing as a miss timed chair shot whiffed and gave Throwback the opening to hit a Smiths Special in the middle of the ring for the pin fall.
Winner: Johnny Throwback
Rating: ***
Winner: Johnny Throwback
Rating: ***
Suddenly, the crowd is startled by the sudden blaring of some sultry saxophone music and two absurdly muscular men, both glistening under generous applications of baby oil, come sauntering to the ring. One of the men grabs a microphone while the other strolls around the ring, climbing turnbuckles and flexing incessantly at the crowd while winking at any female fans he can find.
BRADLEY BANKS: A lot of you are probably wondering who we are. Particularly, a lot of you ladies out there are really wondering who we are, and also what hotel we’re staying at tonight. Well I’ll tell you. My name is Bradley Banks, and this is my best bro-friend forever Beef McHugebulk, and we’re staying at the Ramada. Room 229.
Beef joins Bradley in the center of the ring, both his eyebrows and his immense pectoral muscles bouncing up and down.
BRADLEY BANKS: Now I always was under the impression that a tag team championship should generally tend to go to the best tag team in a wrestling promotion, so how two physically unimpressive, out-of-shape jamokes like Brick and Roy Carter got their hands on those titles is anyone’s guess. Brick’s got a chest like a wet blanket and can’t even tie his boots without getting winded, and Roy’s mother appears to still be in charge of cutting his hair. I guess that tells you everything you need to know about the general level of wrestling quality here at… Wait, what’s this place called again, Beef?
Beef stops flexing for a moment and shrugs.
BRADLEY BANKS: Whatever the hell this company is called: we’re here to take your tag titles and send ripples of ecstasy through the loins of all your female fans.
Beef turns around and tugs on his wrestling trunks, pulling them high into his buttcrack before flexing his glutes. A few women in the crowd hoot and whistle - mainly the old ladies - while most everyone else in attendance grimaces and averts their gaze. Bradley licks a fingertip and touches it to one of Beef’s cheeks before pulling it quickly away as though it had been burned.
BRADLEY BANKS: Brick and Roy, you’ve repulsed all these ladies in attendance for long enough. They’re sick of the sight of your pasty, lumpy asses. They’re looking for some asses that are a little more taut and tan to feast their eyes upon. We have those asses. Roy, Brick, it’s time to hand those titles over to a pair of sexy studs that these people actually want to see.
Bradley drops the mic, and he and Beef stand at mid-ring taking turns flexing for several obnoxious minutes before finally being asked to make way for the next match.
Beef joins Bradley in the center of the ring, both his eyebrows and his immense pectoral muscles bouncing up and down.
BRADLEY BANKS: Now I always was under the impression that a tag team championship should generally tend to go to the best tag team in a wrestling promotion, so how two physically unimpressive, out-of-shape jamokes like Brick and Roy Carter got their hands on those titles is anyone’s guess. Brick’s got a chest like a wet blanket and can’t even tie his boots without getting winded, and Roy’s mother appears to still be in charge of cutting his hair. I guess that tells you everything you need to know about the general level of wrestling quality here at… Wait, what’s this place called again, Beef?
Beef stops flexing for a moment and shrugs.
BRADLEY BANKS: Whatever the hell this company is called: we’re here to take your tag titles and send ripples of ecstasy through the loins of all your female fans.
Beef turns around and tugs on his wrestling trunks, pulling them high into his buttcrack before flexing his glutes. A few women in the crowd hoot and whistle - mainly the old ladies - while most everyone else in attendance grimaces and averts their gaze. Bradley licks a fingertip and touches it to one of Beef’s cheeks before pulling it quickly away as though it had been burned.
BRADLEY BANKS: Brick and Roy, you’ve repulsed all these ladies in attendance for long enough. They’re sick of the sight of your pasty, lumpy asses. They’re looking for some asses that are a little more taut and tan to feast their eyes upon. We have those asses. Roy, Brick, it’s time to hand those titles over to a pair of sexy studs that these people actually want to see.
Bradley drops the mic, and he and Beef stand at mid-ring taking turns flexing for several obnoxious minutes before finally being asked to make way for the next match.
Brick vs Doc Wyatt
Recap:
Brick came out on fire, hitting 2 Brick Walls- determined to end this quick and early. But Doc survived to storm- barely- and slowly started to wear down the big man. But nothing he did seemed to keep him down. Eventually it took his patented brass knuckles, which split Brick wide open, to finish the job.
Winner: Doc Wyatt
Rating: ****
After the match, Doc celebrates on each ring post while Brick is checked by medics for a concussion. When Doc is finished, he comes over and offers to shake Bricks hand. Brick stares at the hand, then shoves Doc to the ground before exiting the ring, as a confused Doc looks on…
Winner: Doc Wyatt
Rating: ****
After the match, Doc celebrates on each ring post while Brick is checked by medics for a concussion. When Doc is finished, he comes over and offers to shake Bricks hand. Brick stares at the hand, then shoves Doc to the ground before exiting the ring, as a confused Doc looks on…
Lobo Muerte vs Vic Baron
Recap:
A hellova fight that saw both men kicking out of each others finishers, only to end in wild fashion as Lobo would again finish with a shocking roll up, both continuing his streak and officially eliminating Baron from the tournament.
Winner: Lobo Muerte
Rating: ****
Winner: Lobo Muerte
Rating: ****
Standings after tonight's matches...